The Christmas season brings joy, excitement, and opportunities to create lifelong memories with your children. For co-parents, however, it can also bring stress, misunderstandings, and emotional triggers that don't appear during the rest of the year. Good communication is the most powerful way to ensure a peaceful Christmas season — for you, the other parent, and most importantly, your children.

At Barina Law Group, we help families across Central Texas navigate holiday schedules, high emotions, and co-parenting challenges. These communication strategies will help you create a child-centered, stress-free Christmas, even if tensions run high or conflict has existed in the past.

1. Use Clear, Written Communication

Holiday emotions can cloud judgment, and verbal agreements can be forgotten or misinterpreted. Written communication gives you a “paper trail” that:

• Keeps conversations factual

• Reduces tension

• Documents agreements

• Helps avoid last-minute disputes

Tools that work well include:

• Email

• Text

• Talking Parents

• OurFamilyWizard

• Clio's client communication log (for your firm use)

When in doubt, put it in writing.

2. Share the Christmas Schedule Early

Parents should exchange the holiday schedule no later than December 1, even if the court order is clear. This avoids saying:

• “I didn't know you were picking them up at that time.”

• “I thought you were doing Christmas Eve this year.”

Confirm, in writing:

• Exchange time

• Exchange location

• Travel plans

• Who is attending family gatherings

• When major events occur (church, Christmas morning gifts, Santa moments)

This helps both households prepare consistently.

3. Keep the Focus on the Child — Not the Other Parent

In co-parenting communication, use child-focused language:

❌ “You're messing up my holiday plans.”
✅ “I want to make sure the children have a smooth transition.”

❌ “You're being unreasonable.”
✅ “What schedule works best for the children?”

The shift in tone reduces conflict instantly.

4. Share Gift Information to Avoid Competition

Christmas gifting can become emotional — and competitive — if parents don't communicate.

Solve this by coordinating gifts in writing:

• “Are you planning to get the bike?”

• “I'll handle Santa stockings; you handle the big gifts.”

• “Let's both limit gifts to ___ so we don't overwhelm them.”

This prevents overspending, confusion, and hurt feelings.

5. Avoid High-Conflict Topics in December

Unless absolutely necessary, avoid conversations in December about:

• Back child support

• Upcoming court dates

• Modification threats

• Old relationship issues

Focus only on:
✔ the schedule
✔ your child's needs
✔ logistics
✔ health & safety

This creates a calmer Christmas experience for everyone.

6. Be Flexible When Possible

Children remember Christmas memories, not rigid parenting disputes.

Flexibility helps when:

• Travel delays occur

• A child is sick

• A family event runs late

• Military obligations interfere with timing

• A parent requests extra virtual time

Flexibility builds trust and helps the child feel supported.

7. Use “Business-Style” Tone When Communicating

Pretend you are emailing a professional colleague:

• Keep it short

• Keep it neutral

• Stick to facts

• Don't add emotion

• Don't take the bait

A businesslike tone keeps conflict low — especially with a difficult co-parent.

8. Put the Child First in Every Message

Ask yourself this question:
“If my child read this message at age 18, would I be proud of it?”

If the answer is no, rewrite it.

When Communication Still Isn't Working

Some parents struggle with communication because of:

• High conflict

• Narcissistic traits

• Emotional wounds

• New partners

• Lack of boundaries

• Different parenting styles

If communication is breaking down and affecting your child, the attorneys at Barina Law Group can help with:

• Clarifying the holiday order

• Enforcing visitation

• Modifying a schedule

• Addressing interference

• Supporting military-affected schedules

• Teaching communication structure

You are not alone, and help is available.

Barina Law Group is here for Central Texas families.

Visit www.bobbybarinalaw.com or call (254) 699-3755 to schedule a consultation.